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protagonist

What the fuck is wrong with people!?

Posted on 2008.03.09 at 13:45
someplace like: Rodeo's Computer @ PNX
Tags: , ,
An article from the Globe and Mail about the proposed wolf culling in RMH

If anyone's interested in doing some campaigning around this one, please, feel free to message me here and connect on it or just write letters on your own time. This is fucking sick.

beer, captain jack, bridge

if these walls could smell

Posted on 2008.03.07 at 13:13
so i smell a little crusty today. funny how standing under hot lights in a full wool suit is the reason for it this time. anyone else get that strange, really depressed feeling after drag shows? i don't know what the deal is, and it really bothers me more 'cause i have no reason for it or can't pinpoint one at least for it happening, but, as random as it is, i kinda quit because of it.

beer, captain jack, bridge
Posted on 2008.03.06 at 12:10
rush hour
and the day's dawning
the rain came
and pushed me under the awning
the puddles grew and threw themselves at me
with every passing car
I'm shielding my guitar
and there were some things that I
did not tell him
there were certain things
he did not need to know
and there were some days
when I did not love him
he didn't understand me
and I don't know why
I didn't go
he said change the channel
I've got problems of my own
I'm so sick of hearing about drugs
and aids
and people without homes
and I said, well,
I'd like to sympathize with that
but if you don't understand
then how can you act
I expected summer to be there in the morning
I woke to the alarm
but she was out of arms reach
sneaking out
on silent thighs
that were spent and sore
from the hot nights that came before
he said I looked for you
I don't know why
I said I was wearing black so you could
see me against the sky
take your big leather boots
and your buckles and your chains
put them on a downtown train
I expected he would be there in the morning
I awoke to the alarm
he was still in arm's reach
but his body was just a disguise
his mind had wandered off long ago
you see in his eyes
love isn't over when the sheets are stained
in my head there remains
so much left to be said
make me laugh, make me cry, enrage me
but just don't try to disengage me

"rush hour" - ani difranco



today i'm having flashbacks to the feeling of finding balance moving forward on a slackline, arms stretched out and clothes pulling and billowing in the wind, sun warm on my shoulders and neck as my friends sit off to the side in the park and play around with their guitars. it's a strange sort of wobbly, honest grace. something about it's about the same when you get it right as when your caught up in a perfect rhythm juggling or the exhilarated feeling of being so cold and gritty and flying as you skate through the rain and the traffic of the city on a ten speed roadbike and reach the 19th street hill going down. it's... about being in stride, but balancing on the edge of infinite possibility for disaster. tonight i have to go down to the women's resource center on campus and help them hash out their gender policy before heading off to fake mustache. i don't know what it is, but i just want to fucking scream sometimes. i don't know if it's pressure or exhilaration or anger or fear. something about that tells me it's probably a combination of all of it.

i know it's stupid, but i want to do something crazy futile to get this anger out sometime soon. it feels more honest sometimes to just express it. like throwing rocks at a oil derrick or screaming at a slaughterhouse. call it a garden state moment.

dino

Rough Cuts and Worn Out Shoes

Posted on 2008.02.29 at 16:11
So, I managed to get a one day extention on my project's final edit since the computer stalled out on my project today. This is going to be a rough cut folks, but I hope you enjoy it when it's burnt and ready to go. I've decided to call it R(E)EVOLUTION. Should be good.

beer, captain jack, bridge

feel it

Posted on 2008.02.27 at 21:20
Most people are curious
Some wanna get dirt on
The Centaur; I'm famous
I walk around with no shirt on
The easiest way would be for you to lie face down
I'm a man
But I'm built like a horse from the waist down
People are afraid of me but act like they love me
Feast your eyes upon my nudity
I am Beauty AND the Beast
I have plenty to say
But nobody listens because my cock is so big
And the end of it glistens; so I'm famous for it
Freaky is what everyone's name is for it
Sure, it's larger than yours
I'm a CENTAUR for Chrissakes!
I like to eat rice cakes and listen to classical music
I'm told passion is my specialty
But really I'm old-fashioned
I'm quite well-built
As fas as physiques go
So people seem to think that I belong in a freak show
They wanna have pictures taken
Constantly assumin' that my sex drive
is three times that of a normal human
Askin' silly questions like I'm their personal mentor
All they care about is my big dick because I'm the centaur
The porno industry
Wants to pay me lots of money to appear in books and movie
'Cause they think I look funny
But I'm lookin' for true love
Not groupies and freaks
More than a huge cock - I have a complicated mind
I'm not the favorite kind of companion
For the average person
Sometimes things start well
But eventually worsen when sex becomes a problem
Or else they're unimpressed with the attention that you get
Bein' a centaur's love interest
You don't care about my next life
Just my ex-wife and the intimate details of our sex life
Most people are curious
Some wanna get dirt on
The Centaur; I'm famous
I walk around with no shirt on
The easiest way would be for you to lie face down
I'm a man
But I'm built like a horse from the waist down

Buck 65 The Centaur lyrics


crouch
Posted on 2008.02.27 at 18:59
today i presented at William Aberhart high school about my experience of being transgender and answered questions that the students and faculty who attended had surrounding trans issues. all told there were over 50 people packed into the drama room behind the curtains and throughout the presentation, the door continued to open as new groups of folks came to check it out and either squeezed themselves in onto the floor in the center of the room, leaned against walls and tables, or left because of the lack of room. more on this latter, but for now i'm just typing as i export a test on the tree planting shot. we'll see how it turns out.

protagonist

fun times in animation land

Posted on 2008.02.26 at 12:41
someplace like: QAS Sunroom Studio
flavour of the day: optimisticoptimistic
to the sound of: Jayden - CCK
Tags:
so, friday is my deadline for my animation. seriously kids, ya'all better be wishing me luck with this... we'll see how it all turns out in the end. today i'm going to be rocking it a little late in the studio before the art jam (we'll see who all shows up... for a second week i've done absolutely no advertising or promotion for it... i'll get more into that next week again, but, for now, i don't really care too much if anyone really shows up for this one. i've got my own stuff to work on.)

i think that i'm going to put it out there to the folks who show up to the jams over the next little while to put together a bit of an anti-war protest show. i've got some of the preliminary sketches done up for the "love in the time of teargas" painting and want to play around a little more with the "this heart is full of gunpowder" concept. we'll see how it all turns out. kay's got the concept for a really sweet stencil-painting fusion piece that i'm really stoked to see how it turns out too. if anyone else wants to contribute something to the group effort, i'd definitely love to see what you have! this might shape up to be the first sketchy punk group show if everything comes together nicely!

lead, lynwood, bird, arsenic
Posted on 2008.02.23 at 10:00


i sometimes wish i was a million miles from here.

beer, captain jack, bridge
Posted on 2008.02.13 at 03:28
got to love that twitch you get. jumping at the sound of every passing car down the road running in front of your house. too much yerba, not enough sleep, a hell of a lot of concentrating, and news of a molotov attack'll do that i guess. freaking oi. my brain says sleep and my pen says GO!

beer, captain jack, bridge

Working through it

Posted on 2008.02.12 at 17:33


Yesterday I was so fucking ill. Not cool. Seriously. Today was a little better, but from time to time I'm still getting that buckle over and wheeze feeling like I've been punched straight through and someone is scraping and twisting the balls of the joints in my hips. Seriously. Fuuuuck.

The doctors I saw yesterday weren't sure what was going on. I have a bit of a paranoid voice that mutters in the back of my head but I try not to pay any attention to it, though when I mentioned it to the second doctor I saw, her eyebrows almost bounced off the ceiling and she said that was a definite possibility, and that, if in a week or two of being on the antibiotics she prescribed in case it was some type of infection, I was still in any sort of pain I should come back in to get forms for blood work, though the regular test measure won't be much of an indicator since I'm on testosterone and that's one of the biggest things they test for. I'm thinking I should get my GP to print me up a copy of my baseline tests from last year since my levels were fairly high in those already and that could be a bit helpful in diagnosing, though, being a year ago, they probably won't be much of an indicator even if I was showing some small symptoms then, since, if it is what I'm wondering about, it'll be a lot more advanced by now. Joy.

However. Softer World makes me smile still and I'm finishing up the last touches on my visuals tonight and going back into work tomorrow whether I feel like it or not. Nicole is fucking amazing. Just thought you all should know. The last two days, though I've felt like shit and that I'm probably not helping her any by having her being here and worrying or just hanging out, it's really been good to chill out with her and just enjoy each other's company. I really hope this fall works out for us. And this summer too, though we had a good discussion surrounding what may happen depending upon when my surgeries get booked and she pointed out the very valid point that I'd been overlooking... if she's not going back to school this fall (which she's planning on not doing) we don't really have any time constraints on when we have to get back from traveling officially so long as I can make my appointments and be around for surgery and recovery times. Which takes a lot of the worry off of me as to what may happen if my surgery/surgeries totally fuck up our travel plans for the summer. Fuck I love her.


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